Marina Sq & Suntec City on 28/06/09

On Sun, we went to Old Airport to have our lunch den i told hubby to go Suntec City for the Young Parent Cover Look for Jovian, we went to Marina Sq for a walk 1st, and Jovian everytimes like to sit the ride so no choice have to give her sit....

After that we went straight to Suntec City for the Young Parent Cover Look Contest, but when we reach, i forgot i din bring the contest paper from the Young Parent Magazine as we last min den decide to come to take part.... we walk around and ask the counter, but they say need to buy the magazine in order to take part, but i told them i have subscribe the magazine but i forgot to bring.... they say no choice need to purchase another book lor, i told hubby it is waste of money to buy again.....

We walk around and i thinking y not buy again, can take part ma.... When we at a side subscribe for another half month for the magazine, another counter say the magazine is sold out.... "SHIT" cnt take part this year liao, cos Jovian got take part last year.... haiz.... but when we subscribe got this gift also gd la, can make cardboard play house for Jovian to play.... hehe....

When reach home, i try to make this play house, at 1st so difficult to make, later i figure out den finish it.... so pretty, after finish, Jovian run in to play liao...

Can see Jovian hiding inside the play house....

Jovian will hide inside and say "Hello Daddy" and her daddy will play with her, she so happy....

When i bring Jovian home on 03/07/09 (Fri) by bus as hubby car send for repair, when we reach our stop, on the way home, i carry bags so no hand to carry her so i told her i will hold her hand to walk, dunno she tired or what, she walk den will fall dwn, and the floor is so rough so her hand become like this... got blood come out on the way, and at that time, i no tissue in my bags, so i quickly carry her up and rush back home.....

After reach home, i wash her hand, to prevent sand on her hand, and apply the cream on her wound.... she so pain until keep crying....... I feel so pain for her too, is my fault, i also lazy to carry her la, as i carry bags....haiz... now her hands so ugly liao, until now still not recover leh, cos she feel itch and pull the dry skin out and the blood come out again....

Den MIL say must put handiplus so she wnt touch it , i told MIL dun put as the wound cnt breath, will become more worse, really now more worse, the wound "lan" liao, i quickly take out the handiplus and put cream for her.... haiz....

Sorry Mummy.... Sorry Daddy....

I find that all children is the same, when they do wrong things, they will faster said sorry to their parents....

Like Jovian, Everytimes when she do wrong things and saw my face is very angry, she will run to my side to said sorry mummy, if i din ans her, she knows i really VERY angry, she will said many times "Sorrry Mummy" to me den cry out loud cos she scare i angry and dun bother her..... until i reply her, dun be so naughty den she happy again..... hehe.....

But now, if i dun 1 2 give her anything or i dun feel like talking, she tot i angry, she will also said sorry to me..... *Faint* I really not angry with her but she feel that if she said sorry mummy is much more save.... hehe.....

This matter is more better then beating her, cos when ever i ask her dun do things which i dun like, she purposely do it and let me see! i so angry, i will take my cane and cane her leg, she wnt cry, she only said dun want mummy..... after that when i went off, she will do it again..... haiz.... hw i beat her, she also wnt cry or scare... i really beat her very hard, she not pain, i can feel the pain..... This girl is really very naughty.... i really dun feel like beating her, but she really make me very angry!!!

But sometimes Jovian was quit cute at doing her things, she will talk to her toy elephant and kiss her elephant..... when i cook, she will bring her cooking set and sit at the kitchen to cook with me.....hehe....

By the way, Jovian is sick again, yesterday bring her to see doctor, she having fever, flu & cough.... i spread to her.... haiz.... when she have fever, i quit scare, cos she have 2 fit before so now she fever, i will try to keep her temperture low, i will sponge her and measure her temperture many times..... Her fever had come dwn, only cough, at night, me & Jovian like playing musical, will cough together.... hubby said he not enough sleep.... haiz no choice leh..... but Jovian cough is more serious, she will cough until gtg to vomit, i will wake her up to drink some water to cool dwn.... sometimes, she cough until cry, cos she feel so pain on her chest....haiz.... so hurting to see her like this.... it my fault to spread to her.....

That all for the update, will upload when i have the time, too lazy to upload photo cos it take up so much times...


That all for the update, will upload when i have the time, too lazy to upload photo cos it take up so much times...

Girls is more naughty den boys

After reading E-Ling blog, i feel that we are in the same situation.....

Jovian also always beaten by me, i really cnt tolerate her, y nwaday girl is more naughty then boys????

Jovian can throw all her toys on floor and wnt keep after use, when i saw it, i dunno y, i feel so angry, i told her to keep the toys but she wnt keep and run about the room and play other things, after scolding for sometimes, i will drag her and beat her thigh hard, but she not scared and wnt cried, she just feel a bit pain, then run to her daddy there, i ask her daddy dun bother her, i wants to control her and not she controls me!!!!

I feel so tired, y my girl was so naughty and difficult to teach????

Nw more worse, she keep coming to me and ask me to carry her and she dun let her daddy to carry!!!! If i carry her all the time, i cnt do any housework!!! So i just pass to my hubby to ask him carry, and i dun care she cried to ask me carry... so tired, after work, no rest time, still need to do housework and look after Jovian, so most of the time, i ask hubby to play with her, so i can do my things.... lucky hubby likes to play with her and can let her made fun of him, he is more patient towards Jovian then me.....Out for shopping also hubby look after her, cos he knows when Jovian do anythings wrong, i will surely beat her.....

Bad Temper

Dunno y, now my temper is very bad..... Whenever i saw Jovian doing things i dun like, i will take a cane to beat her hands and thigh.... but she not scare.... the more u ask her dun touch the things on the tv console or the fan, the more she wants to touch and show u, she touch!!!

When we in the car, she will put her hands in her mouth, i see her do this, i very angry, i will slap her face and scold her dun put her hands inside her mouth!!! When i gtg to slap her, she will tell me "mai, mai" (means no), after slap her, she still do the same things....... haiz, i dunno hw to teach her......

I know Jovian still young, and dun everytimes beat her but i just cnt control my temper.... so everytimes is my hubby play with her, i seldom play with her.... Go out shopping also my hubby look after her..... he knows i will lost my control whatever Jovian do things i dun like.....

Photo Of Fat Mummy

This photo was taken at my office toilet... hehe nothing to do .......

This photo was taken yesterday along AYE, every sat there had rehersal for NDP. We saw parachute ( dun mind if i spell wrong, cos my english not gd) .

Life is so boring..............

Today is a boring day.... in fact, everyday is boring.....

When Jovian is born, i don't have any night life or go out with friends, everyday is the same.
My life routine now is:
Mon to fri: wake up, clean myself, wake hubby, wake Jovian, clean up for Jovian, prepare to go MIL house. Eat breakfast there, after that go to work.
After working, go to MIL house to look after Jovian, while she cook dinner. When hubby back, eat dinner and talk cock, den go home.
Reach home, need to boil hot water, and change all to clean water for making milk. Also need to stream all the milk bottles.
After that, need to put all the dirty clothes in the washing machine to wash.
8.15pm need to cook cereal and mix with milk for Jovian to drink at 8.30pm.
8.30 - 9.00pm put Jovian to bed, to sleep by herself.
9.00pm is my tv time.
10pm sleep.

I really feel so tired to do all this thing, i don't have my own time. Everyday routine is the same. I really feel like going out to have fun.... but i worry about Jovian at home with her daddy..... haiz...........

Last time, when i stress, i will go to KTV or PUB with my friends and hubby to sing cause i like singing or go to beach to listen to the sea wave and drink beer, but now when i stress, still need to stay at home or go to see that fxxx MIL..... haiz........ my life is so............... miserable...........

Angry with myself

Yesterday night, after Jovian cereal milk, she is very tired so i put her on her cot and pat her sleep but she don't want. and keep sitting up. (When Jovian laying dwn on her cot, she knows how to sit up by herself on 19/04/08, this is the 1st time she sitting up by herself)

I am having heavy flu, i not feeling so well and more worse how i make Jovian, she just don't sleep. I feel so angry and scolded at her loudly and say to her " if you don't sleep i won't let you sleep!". I carry her out to sit on the floor and let her cry. I really feel very frustrated and sick and hate to look at her.... I put her to sleep twice, she still sitting up so i beat her on her face. (not so hard....)

My husband see me so angry, he quickly go to play with Jovian and let me calm dwn. I really dunno what happen to me, I keep feeling very frustrated about little things, i really feel so tired!!!

How can i be so rough to Jovian??? I also dunno....

I find that looking after a child is a tiring things some more need to wake up at night to feed her milk. Sick also need to do all the things by myself!!! Other mum is so relax on looking after their child, i dunno why i feel so stress.I really not a good mum!!!

I need to let Jovian sleep early cause she need to wake up early every morning, i scare she dun have enough sleep. Some more she go to my MIL place, she seldom sleep. She become more and more thinner, I afraid she not healthy enough. She drink lest milk now, dunno her tooth coming out or she is sick...... I try to let her sleep for 10hrs at night until morning but yesterday she only going to sleep at 10pm, which means only sleep for 8hrs. Last week, Jovian having flu, i bring her to clinic. The doctor measure her weight, she is 7.9kg at 10 months, the doctor say Jovian is too light for her month, she need to obtain 9kg when she reach 1 yr old!!! I so worry about her health, cos i working, and i also dunno what my MIL feed her or got let her sleep. I cnt ask MIL too much, later gonna her scold again, and ask me to look after myself. I still waiting for time to bring her to childcare when she reach 18 months.

Jovian hand and shoulder suddenly got many rashes, dunno whether is the weather too warm or my house or her cot is dirty. but i clean the house on every wkend.... or my MIL sweating and keep carry Jovian, or Jovian keep carrying her sofe toy.... i also dunno....

I will bring Jovian to see doctor tomorrow again, to check what happen, I scare the hand, mouth disease, but she did not go childcare so i don't think so....

Lazy Mum

I just read E-ling blog, I find that she is a good & hardworking mum as compare to me....

I so lazy, I just learn how to cook porriage for Jovian just a month ago... cos every sat my mum will come to my house to look after Jovian when i working half day on alternate sat or come to visit Jovian when i not working...
She will cook for Jovian and feed her. When i am at home, my mum will also do all the things for me, so i will intend to be lazy to do anything.... I really appreciate my mum for doing so many things for me. I love her so much...

Although I will feel bad for so lazy looking after Jovian but i really very tired.... I need to wake up at night and feed her milk and everytime i will wake up to see whether she is cold or sleep well..... I find that after giving birth to Jovian until now, I seldom sleep, I will wake up every hrs to check on her, the next day i still need to work, really very stress so when i reach home, i seldom wants to play with her and some more i got so many house works need to do, i need to boil the water, change all the cold water to warm water, stream the milk bottle, wash clothes, etc.... Lucky that my hubby know i have many things to do, so he will play with Jovian every night until her milk time and will sweep or mop the floor on weekend...

Those who had maid with them is a good thing, like me no maid need to do all the things myself.... so i too lazy to learn how to cook for Jovian... I am a lazy and bad mum.... I dunno why i become so lazy and frustrated, issit i not enough sleep or give myself too many excuse?? I, myself also dunno why...

When i young, I like children very much, until have children myself, i really know how my mum went through, how tired and stress on how to look after them... I don't really have much of my own time, and i can't go out to relax myself and gather with my friends.... I not blaming anybody, i just blame myself for not planning all the things well...